Wednesday, December 26, 2012


Sorry for my absence, for I took some time to myself, or I must say, somewhat to myself.

I was getting messages, lots of messages, but before my absence, I thought it was lovingly sent towards myself. I found out the hard way I have been wrong on that.

I'm recieving loving messages always, but none are for me...Somehow I am having them directed my way, but sadly, those lovely and wonderful messages, are not for me.

This realization has left me sad, and very hurt inside. So instead of posting blogs I wanted to stay away, just the thought, that they are not for me has me built up inside with tears. life has had me in so many moments happy, sad, worried, and wishing that they had of been for me. I had myself foolishly believing I was loved.

I end this note saying, I'm grateful for each day I am surviving. Even though I hide this dreadful pain inside. Knowing that I am anonymous here, makes it a bit easier to express. But still all feelings are still harder to express these days, when I always have felt alone in this world, even when tons of people are around. There is a sadness, that I couldn't ever explain, even if I so chose to, express.

I am wishing, praying and hoping that no one ever has to feel this way, as I always have, and it's more-so-worse, now that I have this knowledge that the messages, might be coming to me, they are not...not for me.

Happiness and blessings go out to you all who shall find yourselves reading this for the holiday seasons.

And for my own emotional health, I am wanting to cry, because the huge lump in my throat from not doing so, is becoming hurtful and bothersome.

Farewell until another post.

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

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