Sunday, December 8, 2013

Always.....Silence. Speaks in volumes!

I don't want to cry, and you can't make me.
Your silent actions, use my words and thrown them at me.
Hurt me with so many things, and ways, and not a word needed be spoken.
You can't keep blaming an adult for what they did as a child. Can't you see they aren't the same?
I've been hurt by many, suffered enough karma to teach me many lessons.
And still, I put no blame on anyone, only on circumstance.
The part of me that believes you still care, I don't trust it anymore, because of your "WORDS".
My heart, soul, mind and body, need peace, needs for others to hear them crying for mercy.
Situations arise for some, when just children, and those are the times in life, one does not have a choice.
Rape, sexual abuse, psychical abuse, mental abuse... emotional abuse, verbal abuse, abuse caused by rumors.
Do you know what it's like to be called ugly as a small child?
Do you know what it feels like to be bullied in any way?
Do you know what it feels like to be called a joke by your partner?
Do you?

Do you know what it's like to be called so ugly that you're told that you should wear a bag on your head?
Do you know what it's like when those bullies get all their friends to gang up on you all at once and you're standing all alone and no one speaks up?

I've let these things go, they don't bother me anymore, but when someone says I don't know suffering, nor pain, nor love. What do you think runs through my head? I stay silent in those moments, because they don't know me at all!
There are people I wish I could forget, but I'd want them to forget me to, so that they couldn't bother me, as a person who doesn't remember or know them because the memory isn't as if strangers. Just not to hurt nor bothered.

I've helped many people in this life time, without them ever knowing me personally, without them ever seeing me. Strangers. And maybe I saved some lives along the way, but I don't tell anyone, because I did it for them, and the part of me that knows I've helped in someway, is good enough. I don't brag about my good deeds, because I didn't do it to be noticed, I'd like not to be noticed.

Do you know what it's like to suffer after praying for others? Do you know such a pain? A misery that appears after I pray, pray good for others. I wonder if any have prayed for me? I don't care if they did. I'd never ask.

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

Sounds and things

Blizzards are loud,
Once the winds pick up,
Rains can drowned,
When it doesn't let up,
Loud are the crowds,
When they don't get what they want,
At peace is a human,
When they are where most happy,
Why judge their fate,
Just because you think they're too late,
You can be silent with the eyes,
But you scream very loud from inside,
Steady is a motion,
Of a soul-mate's lustful desire for the other,
If you fall behind,
Open your eyes and pay mind,
For if you're not paying attention,
The mind might end up quiet and blind,
See things for what they are,
You're not the only one with scars,
You're not the only one who's lost,
Broken hearts are created out of loss,
My mind as well as my heart is screaming Mercy,
For You forget the times we've spent in private,
The words you spoke,
I no longer rely on simple texts,
No simple texts with words,
No they don't do anything but hurt,
I'd rather a call,
A meeting elsewhere,
Because trust has been broken,
And I don't want a single touch,
Not a single embrace to ruin,
A true verbal connection,
THE TRUTH is what I want,
Texts are just words on screen,
And I want that no more.
These are the sounds and things that keep me from fully feeling at peace.

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Thursday, September 5, 2013

What I've decided concerning my blog

I have decided I don't want to discuss my past relationships, love life, or personal life, in general.
I shall be back during the weekend perhaps for a poem or short opinionated rambling.

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Coming back

So I am deciding to come back, I wont be posting images or symbol information for a while as I have been moving around and literally been everywhere lately.
I know it has been quite some time since my last blog posting, but I do have good reasons why!
For a while, I may just post something completely random, about my day, or about some story of what has happened thus far! But mainly my focus here will be short stories or a few poems scattered here now and again.
I'm sorry for my absence, and hope everyone has been enjoying life until this point.
I will be back in the near future, as to my new posts that will be added.
Be well
Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Without using a computer for quite some time...

So here I am.
You're all probably wondering where I have been.

The thing is time passes in life and life does often get busy. And passes it does, as time...It waits for no one!
My time frame is off, by quite a bit if you might notice from past postings of blogs and it is.
Issues arise, conflicts arrive as well. And I just haven't found too much time to get on a computer to post. I have also been contemplating getting back to my symbols studies (no not posting them, actually studying them) I feel that calling again, in a most urgency of ways as of late.
I am not sure if I shared the fact that I am a published author(besides blogging I might add), and I have had some crop ups of messages that people don't know this of myself and felt I may as well state so. For the record, and so people can get that out of their heads that I haven't. Not that, that is very important to me! Not greatly so anyway.
So on to my calling of studies that I myself and probably others reading this, know why it's even needed. Perhaps my symbols on paper (which I have not shared!) would maybe shed some light on the why's.
I needed to stop in and post something as I have noticed, January was my last post and it is now the month of April.
I hope you are all well and that maybe Parts of the world would stop getting so mad(I wish) and arguing about who has the biggest bombs!
Why can't things just be civil? Why can't things be resolved? Why are things always getting out of hand and leading out of context?
Why do things that can be settled so easily with communication end up leading to such distraction? I'm saddened by it all!!!
Wishing everyone happiness and peace, Blessings to all and I hope things get cleared up (though I have a bad feeling they wont before it's too late), so that people can see things for what they are and be clear headed for a change.
The mind is a noisy place as it is.

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

I say you

And I'll tell you this ONE LAST TIME!
"Many will use You, in order to get to Me!"
They will mock love, they will also hide truths within, that you cannot find.
They will act hurt when you choose to leave, when they just fear you will come to me.
Those who do not know of such feelings, do not fully show it, but yet pretend if necessary what they "believe" it should look like, OR do as they have seen "true feelings" shown to them from others. Easy masks they wear, when they observe others who are real. Learn this by watching their over all reactions, rather then just listening, one can listen and believe ones words, but if you do not observe their over all persona, you will not see what is truly there!

OBSERVE, but don't get caught. Because remember, a con observes everything, but so does a long time abused heart broken soul...For they have been fooled by cons most of their life, so they can now read them well. (Makes sense now, more? Hope so, because learning the hard way hurts immensely)

"Many will use You(play on your emotions and fears), to get to me(to hurt me in anyway)!
You don't believe me now, but in time, you shall see! Only in time that gets wasted with regrets, shall others see the truth within the lies!


Whether the loving messages are directed at me or not, I'll still send my love out.

"Get off your knees"

One last message, which I know is not to me...But from me.
"They think we are the same person, WE ARE NOT!"

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!


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