Found this on Youtube

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

Always.....Silence. Speaks in volumes!

I don't want to cry, and you can't make me.
Your silent actions, use my words and thrown them at me.
Hurt me with so many things, and ways, and not a word needed be spoken.
You can't keep blaming an adult for what they did as a child. Can't you see they aren't the same?
I've been hurt by many, suffered enough karma to teach me many lessons.
And still, I put no blame on anyone, only on circumstance.
The part of me that believes you still care, I don't trust it anymore, because of your "WORDS".
My heart, soul, mind and body, need peace, needs for others to hear them crying for mercy.
Situations arise for some, when just children, and those are the times in life, one does not have a choice.
Rape, sexual abuse, psychical abuse, mental abuse... emotional abuse, verbal abuse, abuse caused by rumors.
Do you know what it's like to be called ugly as a small child?
Do you know what it feels like to be bullied in any way?
Do you know what it feels like to be called a joke by your partner?
Do you?

Do you know what it's like to be called so ugly that you're told that you should wear a bag on your head?
Do you know what it's like when those bullies get all their friends to gang up on you all at once and you're standing all alone and no one speaks up?

I've let these things go, they don't bother me anymore, but when someone says I don't know suffering, nor pain, nor love. What do you think runs through my head? I stay silent in those moments, because they don't know me at all!
There are people I wish I could forget, but I'd want them to forget me to, so that they couldn't bother me, as a person who doesn't remember or know them because the memory isn't there...so as if strangers. Just not to hurt nor bothered.

I've helped many people in this life time, without them ever knowing me personally, without them ever seeing me. Strangers. And maybe I saved some lives along the way, but I don't tell anyone, because I did it for them, and the part of me that knows I've helped in someway, is good enough. I don't brag about my good deeds, because I didn't do it to be noticed, I'd like not to be noticed.

Do you know what it's like to suffer after praying for others? Do you know such a pain? A misery that appears after I pray, pray good for others. I wonder if any have prayed for me? I don't care if they did. I'd never ask.

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

What I've decided concerning my blog

I have decided I don't want to discuss my past relationships, love life, or personal life, in general.
I shall be back during the weekend perhaps for a poem or short opinionated rambling.

Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

I say you

And I'll tell you this ONE LAST TIME!
"Many will use You, in order to get to Me!"
They will mock love, they will also hide truths within, that you cannot find.
They will act hurt when you choose to leave, when they just fear you will come to me.
Those who do not know of such feelings, do not fully show it, but yet pretend if necessary what they "believe" it should look like, OR do as they have seen "true feelings" shown to them from others. Easy masks they wear, when they observe others who are real. Learn this by watching their over all reactions, rather then just listening, one can listen and believe ones words, but if you do not observe their over all persona, you will not see what is truly there!

OBSERVE, but don't get caught. Because remember, a con observes everything, but so does a long time abused heart broken soul...For they have been fooled by cons most of their life, so they can now read them well. (Makes sense now, more? Hope so, because learning the hard way hurts immensely)


"Many will use You(play on your emotions and fears), to get to me(to hurt me in anyway)!
You don't believe me now, but in time, you shall see! Only in time that gets wasted with regrets, shall others see the truth within the lies!

"KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!" - Unknown

Whether the loving messages are directed at me or not, I'll still send my love out.

"Get off your knees"

One last message, which I know is not to me...But from me.
"They think we are the same person, WE ARE NOT!"



Please check my other blog posts for my symbolic related views, and other random posts!

Life and emotional attachments! And a shared dream from long ago.

Life and emotional attachments!
Days are going by, I'm living, but still have this vague stagnant feeling within me that craves to go do something.
That being said, I'm somewhat, what they consider a closet case. I don't consider myself to be such, but I stay somewhat feeling trapped on decisions on what to do next. Now I don't want to sound crazy, but I always seem to do so. So here is what I "propose"....

I'm waiting things out until I figure things out in order to "do what I set out to do"!?!

So I like to stay home, not because I am lazy, but because I have these voices shouting from everywhere that I shouldn't venture elsewhere because of some impending doom that lurks on the outside. I do the greatest of my ability to ignore this, but as of late...That seems to be getting closer to me than I'd like to admit. Perhaps it's some kind of criminal mind in hiding and waiting for me? Or maybe it's awaiting someone else, and the wires are being crossed somehow and I am receiving something not even directed towards myself?

Now I don't know if this thing is an inward loop of fear, or if someone is messing with my mind signals, maybe an inner voice or "something(or someone) that is intervening" with my processes in life in general. To be brutally honest, I feel it is the latter! I must also note though, there is also another voice saying "their intentions are to love me"...See I keep getting mixed messages and mixed signals that can be a bit confusing to the brain in this all to mixed up thought process.

Honestly though, there is so much chaos out there in this whole entire world that saddens me. I often wonder if I am the only one, experiencing these add feelings and receiving such odd impressions. Something within me says "I'm not the only one", but another part of me doubts that and asks "Why me?"

I had a dream once (Okay, maybe more than once), where everyone had to leave on a big cargo plane, because where we were, was going to be attacked or in some kind of danger or plagued or something like that. Everyone, including my children and other loved ones/friends. They were all boarding this plane, BUT I said NO, I said I wasn't getting on the plane! This cargo plane was like the ones you see animals transported to their countries, after being in captivity. BUT...It was one of those huge ones, that they have enough room for elephants and big animals like that. This was very odd though, people were boarding from land while this plane was in the water. Which strikes me as odd, because everyone walked from ground and than walking through water and boarding the plane that way. It was a very odd looking plane for a cargo plane. People entered the back, like animals...through this large drop down back door. If you can picture that.

Anyways I always think about that dream, I had it so many years ago, but I always ended up getting myself left behind while everyone I loved and everyone else, left to go to safety. I always ask myself why I wouldn't go, it's as if I wasn't ready to move on or to leave my home and place I love. I'm still unsure to why I had this dream and usually I am pretty good at figuring them out, after thinking them over.

I don't have aids. It's a more complicated illness and I care not to explain! Maybe I have this strong emotional attachment to life that keeps me going.....Anyways...
Loving you all and thinking of you and the world deeply lately.
Unknown Sender

A great find, not so new, but newly found for me.

I just found this video and I'd like to share such an interesting find! I hope you all find it as interesting as myself.

No updates right now, but I dislike leaving my blog idling and being stagnant. I'm still not feeling well at all. But the summer is making me feel a weee bit more content, and content as well as grateful to still be alive at this time.
Brightest of blessings to you all.

Sorry for my absence! Images, Symbols and meanings! A short introduction!

Sorry for my absence everyone. I have really been wondering how to go about posting my symbols.

Do I post them as just pictures so you can see what I have?

Do I post the pictures as well as "my" meanings for them?

You know because I really feel most of these meanings were only meant for me. (Notice I didn't say all of them?) I know I haven't really been posting much useful blogs lately, but I really do wonder on how to go about things and posting my personal symbols online.

In this first image I'd like to point out I am still a bit confused on what it is suppose to mean. As I may have stated in previous posts, I get my symbols mostly as mind impressions. I think it might be religion  based, as to maybe.

This second image has many meanings, some involve time relation and others have a personal meaning! 

1. Obviously means a signs! 

2. means different angles and something I still haven't quite got yet, I believe higher resonance? Like I said I am still learning. These digital symbols had been put away and as of right now, they are easier for me to post. 

3. Means half of a life. This is just personal, and means something to me. 

4. Is the time thing I was talking about, time turns and there are many tools involved to find a way. 

5. Is still a bit confusing, I know mountains, but I think is also (with the line going in through center) may mean split in have or in between. Still a bit confused on this one too. I worked more with the symbols I wrote/drew on paper because I always had it on hand. 

6. Is either math related or symbolic for a rune from history. I was also studying runes and other religious symbolism because I was confused on all the symbols I was given as mind impressions. 

7. I think it just means windows, like windows of opportunity, or windows in a home, really you'd have to see it as a personal symbol to know it's meaning for you.

This third image has so many symbols in it that I would have to make it a long post! I just want to post it for you all to see. I plan to explain this last image in more detail later and in a few separate posts.

As you can also see each image was done in 2009, but I placed the copyright park on it today. That's why it says 2012, this is a newer blog for me so I am placing the copyright mark for now. There are many symbols and they all have their own meaning, within each individual one. I plan to explain each symbol later, maybe a post for about 4 or 5 in each(symbol) blog posting for easier understanding and not a huge one blog posting as to overwhelm the mind, that might be reading/viewing it!

Thanks for your patience in waiting for me to post about my symbols, I do plan to add more later one, but this is like a blog post to show I am not full of it! My symbols discussed before are real and here is proof.

Enjoy your weekend!!

A new poem for today...Let's call it strange and maybe enlightening!

"Defeated fears and questions of love" By Unknown Sender

Swirling vortex of thee obis,
Trying to make up for time I've missed,
Nothing beats a wonderful first kiss,
Only a few years ago...Yes it only what I miss,

My heart compelled to linger on,
Oh how it use to swell knowing when people were gone,

My senses heightened to ever lengths,
Across court yards the smell of  dirt and flowers with such strength,

Wandering down each path alone,
Learning with each season as each plant has grown,
I smell everything now,
Even the smell of the sea,
Waves crashing against the shore, I smell it from miles away...can't you see?

The swirls are so strong right below,
I have to look away,
For they make me sway,
So high up I feel just now,
With all those whirling pools,

I smell their swells,
I feel the rush of their strength,
Even though I am so high above,
It's sounds deafening,
So deafening, even the traffic can't drowned it out!

I suddenly realize I'm walking too fast,
This was the first time I walked the bridge "I just passed"...
Yet on my way back, I still walked it to fast!
But the second time, my mind wandered...
I wasted much time, just in the ponder..pondering what? Too many things

But I defeated a fear...Of height and of bridges over troubled waters!
Their swirls and whirls use to scare me so...
But now that I am older,
Those fears are so easily let go!

I still dream and remember each of those kisses,
I keep lots to myself..Even thoughts of my wishes,
But you know what?
I still miss those kisses,
Because each one was like the first...
Now that is a first!

A first for REAL love,
But now it lingered on it's way,
I never feel important enough to them,
I must say,

At first it was wonderful,
At first it was unlike anything in this world,
Thought it was my soul-mate,
But I guess I must be wrong,
Because they are never with me,
Even though these feelings and beliefs still beat strong.

So what is a soul-mate you ask?
Someone you're so connected to...
Never mind. That's to painful and too much to ask!

Just enjoy the natural things that are in this world,
The perfectly UN-perfect world, that we all sit upon.

Just an update! I just wanted to say where I have been!

Life has been throwing through many loops and hoops, and I have been trying to grab that safety handle in order to stop myself from being thrown far out into the universe! So please if you have been here looking for any updates to my odd blog, I do apologize for my absence. I wish for everyone to be well, and also hope you are not having to go through such trials in life as I have been as of late!

In perhaps chance a few days things are looking better and not so out of sorts, I hope to be posting some new and excitingly odd blogs again! If not I will post another update on my absence!

Sincerely
Unknown

Just something on the moments chimes...

Here is something very strange and odd I felt like typing up just out of the blue! Feeling quite rhyme-like and poetic and a bit Gothic as well. Hope you like it :-) I felt I had to post something :-)


"The witch, crows and the world who knows" By Unknown Sender April/30/2012


In walks the world with her new found place,
A simple little world with a queen like face,
All wrapped up for the cold and a sense of grace,
Pushing back old memories that give that sour taste,

Rivers flow like magic,
Winds blow like racket,
Sands uplifted from the static,
Sun shines through all the masses,

Scattered are the crows,
Almost summer yet still snows,
Up and down she goes,
Every winds a blows,

Fixed eyes towards the skies,
Every memory survives,
Learning as it flies,
The broom that she rides,

Crows that holler,
Unknown Callers,

Send negatives to the universe,
Thrown demons back deep into the Earth,
Queen she is their master,
Boss of ever after,

She screams, but from on within,
She Yells to them so whispery,
Her silence is so loud they can not help but hear,
Can not drown it out,
The sound that screams within,
"Do as you're told" She says...
"Or I'll send you back to them"...

The screams of hell are deafening,
You can't deny the truth,
Trust me you'd not like it there,
Twas visited in the youth,

Better choose the good side,
Cause Hell is not a good ride,
Hell is worse than life at it's worse,
I sure hope you heed these words!

Some old writings...Two poems from 2009

Here is something I wrote a long time ago...

The best gift... March 12 2009

The best gift you ever gave me...

"You couldn't have came at the better time,
I thought my life was over and felt very bad,
At first I was confused and unfocused,
Had been crying so long,
I thought I'd never see you again,
But I opened my door,
And you showed love once more...

I wanted to love you so much more,
I wanted to dance in the moonlight,
Scream out your name,
Hope you felt the same,
When silence was broken,
And so many words unspoken ...outloud,
You'll always have me,
I'm only yours and I'll always have these....
Times are precious with you,
I know my love is true,
But only for you!

I hope you'll have me again,
I hope you'll stay mine til the end,
My love is so strong this very moment,
I hope our love will move on, so strong
Until I die!

To my love

------------------------------------
Another written right afterwards

"More little things"  March 12 2009

Just something in my head!

It's the little things you do,
That keeps me moving on,
The little things to you,  are big things to me,
You show me many things,
That I can't ignore,
You show me everything,
Even if it hurts me more,
But I can see the truth,
Yes I can see through you,
All I see is you,
In everything and everyone,
Yes everything reminds me of you!

Just when I think it's done,
You show me love in small things one by one,
You opened my eyes to the world,
I do things I never thought I could,
I showed you I am good!

I see myself everyday,
Even if I am afraid,
Sleep deprived by myself,
I did create!

But here I am waiting still,
Patiently ....

Is Past reflection healthy or unhealthy?

Well it has been a bit hectic within my brain lately, I have moments of wondering, Or maybe you could call it wandering.
I am going to try my best to explain this, I have been going to things from my past, for simple self reflection purposes...BUT I get this voice within telling me not to and that it is very dangerous!

The thing is, if we are to learn at all.. do we not have to reflect back in order to see where we have come and how far we have gotten and how much we have grown? That's a long sentence I know...

Anyways I have been going through my past internet foot steps along the way, to try and figure out what all happened and when and possibly learn from that, in order burying it in my own way...so to speak.

Everyone reflects, or at least most people do, in order to be proud of what they have become or to better what they have become by remembering who they were...either reflection process can have an upside!

I have some life thing to straiten out tonight, I just wanted to put a few words of encouragement for those who wish to, or have been thinking of life reflections and stuff.
Have a great Night I am planning to post tomorrow, we shall see how things come about tonight.